Story Translation: The Grand Panjandrum

(words with Latin and Greek origins and from other sources)

One Evening with the Grand Panjandrum

The visit was strictly for felicific purposes, of course, and because I was feeling robustious and in need of bellycheer. The Grand Panjandrum was entertaining a roomful of overdogs whose facticidal conversation soon pringled my spine.

Like everyone else, I had to shake hands with the empleomaniac, but what I really wanted to do was conoodle a bit with that cute blizzard head sitting in the inglenook. That would have earned me a minatory scowl from the wowser, however.

Instead, I got stuck with a morosoph whose bloviations soon had me praying for dormition. I was never so glad to hear the gut-hammer.

"This way, please!" called the host. "If there's anything I can't stand, it's a guest with borborygmus. So come and get these sialagogues while they're hot."

—A modified version of Dr. J.N. Hook's
"One Night, You Dropped in on the Grand Panjandrum";
as presented on the back cover of his book:
The Grand Panjandrum And 1,999 Other Rare, Useful,
and Delightful Words and Expressions;
Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc.; New York; 1980.

"One Evening with the Grand Panjandrum" TRANSLATION

The visit was strictly for felicific (giving or getting intense pleasure) purposes, of course, and because I was feeling robustious (something done vigorously in a rough, coarse, crude, or unrefined way) and in need of bellycheer (gratification of a prodigious appetite). The Grand Panjandrum (pompous, pretentious official with considerable power which is likely to be used unwisely) was entertaining a roomful of overdogs (members of a dominating, privileged group) whose facticidal (characterized by wanton disregard of facts) conversation soon pringled (unpleasantly tingled) my spine.

Like everyone else, I had to shake hands with the empleomaniac (person with compulsions to hold public office), but what I really wanted to do was conoodle (caress playfully) a bit with that cute blizzard head (blond haired) sitting in the inglenook (chair by the fire). That would have earned me a minatory (menacing or threatening) scowl from the wowser (puritanical person), however.

Instead, I got stuck with a morosoph (learned fool) whose bloviations (long-winded and verbose orations) soon had me praying for dormition (a peaceful, painless death). I was never so glad to hear the gut-hammer (iron triangle rung to call lumberjacks to meals).

"This way, please!" called the host. "If there's anything I can't stand, it's a guest with borborygmus (gurgling, rumbling, or growling noise from the abdomen). So come and get these sialagogues (something that promotes the flow of saliva) while they're hot."

—A modified version of Dr. J.N. Hook's
"One Night, You Dropped in on the Grand Panjandrum";
as presented on the back cover of his book:
The Grand Panjandrum And 1,999 Other Rare, Useful,
and Delightful Words and Expressions;
Macmillan Publishing Co., Inc.; New York; 1980.

The Grand Panjandrum Story glossary of words.


Story Translations: Index.